New addition

Well, he's finally here! It felt like I was pregnant for 3 years, but 2 weeks ago we welcomed Benjamin Alexander to our family. I really feel like our family is complete...we aren't waiting for anybody else to join us. The silliest thing I'm looking forward to is getting matching stockings with all our names on them! Can't wait!!!

Here's how it all went down....

~ We were scheduled to go in at 5am Wednesday (7/29) morning. I was supposed to call at 4am to make sure they still had room. I was up at 2 to pee and couldn't fall back asleep. It seriously felt like Christmas morning, waiting for Santa to come. They said to come in, so I woke up Dave, he called his mom to say it was a go, so she could head over to be with David.

0510 - Dave's family arrived at the house. We get to the hospital and had to wait to check in because they just had a bunch of people come into triage and weren't sure if they still had room for me.

0545 - They decided they could keep me and sent me to my L&D room. I got changed and IV started. We knew it was going to be a while before the actual induction started because I needed antibiotics first, and they wanted to get at least 2 doses in in case I went really quickly. When they checked me I was at 4 cm.

0730 - The dr came in and said she thought I was going to have the baby before noon, which was great because she had a meeting that she didn't want to go to. We laughed at her because with David, they started at 1 am and he wasn't born until 950 pm. We expected it to be a looong day.

0900 - The family arrived at the hospital to wait with us. Hannah's dad dropped her off so she could be a part of it and IL's came up with David to hang out. The dr came back and started pitocin. She also had ordered my epidural as soon as I wanted it. I wasn't feeling ANY contractions (so funny after the months of having them non-stop) and was still around 4cm.

1000 - No progress. I started feeling a few of the contractions, but nothing major. She said she would be back at 1130 to break my water.

~ I don't remember exactly when I got my epidural, but it was sometime between 10 and 11. I was feeling quite a few contractions, but not having any progress and they were about to turn my dose up quite a bit.

1130 - broke my water, still no progress so they brought out the peanut (mr. peanut shaped yoga ball) and layed me on my side with the peanut between my knees.

1130 - 115 pm - nothing exciting. My brother joined the party. We were just hanging out in the room and every 20-30 minutes the dr and nurse would come in and help me lay on my other side.

1:30pm - The dr came in to help move me to my other side and said after they moved me she was going to do an internal monitor because I still wasn't progressing but my contractions were pretty big and close on the monitor. She asked my family to just step out into the hall while they moved me. As I was flipping, I said I was finally starting to feel a little pressure, not a ton though. The dr checked me, yanked the peanut away, went to the door and told my family they had to go to the real waiting room because we were having a baby. They broke down the bed, pulled the warmer over and had to yell down the hall to get the nursery nurse to the room quickly. I had gone from about 4.5 cm to 10 REALLY QUICKLY.

1:50 pm - Dr asked if I was ready to push. It all happened so fast, Dave and I were just staring at each other trying to keep up with all the prep that was going on around us. I said I was ready and started to push...I thought I was halfway done with my first push when she said I needed to stop or he would be here in one push and that was too fast...especially if he ended up being a big boy. I took a breath, one more push and his head was out, then she told me to reach down, push again and deliver my baby. It was so damn fast, I don't think I even had time to process what was happening and he was on my chest.

~After he was delivered, the dr was delivering the placenta and as soon as it was out she said "you are officially no longer pregnant" and Dave and I both said "THANK GOD" at the exact same time.

Ben was born at 1357, weighed 8lbs 1 oz and 20.5 inches long. Our family is COMPLETE!!!

Bubbles and hormones

Toddlers and pre-teens have much more in common than you would think. Neither of them seem to have complete control over themselves and their emotions.

First-the toddler. I can't imagine how exciting the world must seem when EVERYTHING is brand new and even if it isn't, your memory is so short it seems that way. Your every happiness rests on whether or not you get a cookie today or if the batteries in Elmo are still "broken" (or removed to keep mommy from having to hear "uh-oh, Elmo fell down" 329847 times today). We recently got David a bubble machine that generates "thousands of bubbles in minutes" and boy does it live up to that! The greatest moment of his ENTIRE life is when he sees that machine come out. I can't read his mind, but I'm pretty sure it goes like this...

There it is!

She's getting it out!

This is going to be so much fun!

I'm the luckiest guy on earth right now!

This is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me!

I can die a happy man, now that I've seen the bubble machine!

And then, things get even better when it is turned on...

Oh My God, she's TURNING IT ON!!!

THIS is the greatest moment of my life.

I thought things couldn't get any better, but THEY DID!!!

I've never been so happy!!!

I can't control myself...I MUST scream like some kind of deranged hyena and dance around in a circle until I fall down!!!

I can't handle this much joy at once!!!!

Then the bubbles get turned off...

WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!!!!

Why did they stop?

How can she do this to me?

My heart is broken and I think I might perish right here and now.

What's the point in living?

I'm going to pack my things and leave this hell hole!

You would think that after we've done this a few times the highs and lows of a bubble machine wouldn't be so great. He would start to realize that when the machine comes out, it will be fun, we'll all have a laugh, then it will go away, only to return at another time. Kind of a "We've had some good times, I'll miss you dear friend, but we will meet again soon" feeling. But no, his entire happiness rests in this moment and it is either the most wonderful time of his life or he is in the pit of despair and life will never be good again.

Now - the pre-teen. I never would have guessed there could be a demographic that has more hormone swings than a pregnant woman, but Hannah has proven me wrong. Just like David, her happiness is decided moment to moment. The only difference is that her triggers are all internal. It really could be the greatest time of her life and she can be doing something she has always wanted to do or something that has always made her very happy and things can take a very unexpected turn into a dismal abyss.

Yesterday, she was sitting on the couch eating grapes, watching tv. We are all quietly enjoying our selves and our time together as a family, when BAM!!!! there are tears pouring out of Hannah's eyes. We are obviously shocked and concerned over what may have just happened to cause this awful breakdown. Did a bone spontaneusly snap in half? Did someone just silently rip all her fingernails out? Did she just learn she has minutes to live? Surely SOMETHING has happened to this poor child!

Nope, she doesn't know why she's crying and that makes her cry harder. As a woman, I recognize the feelings and can sympathize...as a mother it breaks my heart to see her so distressed. The outburst only lasts a few minutes and soon we are all happily playing board games, with (almost) no memory that 10 minutes ago the sky was falling and the outlook was bleak.

The person who I really feel for in these situations is Dave. He wakes up every morning not knowing which Jekyl/Hyde characters he's going to get today and praying that at some point, at least for a few minutes the three crazies in his life (the short, stinky one; the taller female one, or the biggest, pregnant one) will magically have their good moments fall at the same time and he might actually get to enjoy part of his day.

No wonder he golfs...its a guaranteed 6 hours away from this insanity.

PS~Yes, I am STILL pregnant, but a warning to those who know me. From this point on if you ask "why haven't you had the baby yet?", as if I have ANY control over this, you will be removed from the call list and you'll find out we had this kid when you get his college graduation announcement.

Momnesia

I like to think I'm a fairly smart person...at least most of the time I seem to have a decent amount of common sense. It seems that lately though the smallest questions or problems leave me stumped. I started to blame this on my advancing age ( I am almost 32 now!), but I have found a new scapegoat...the kids! These poor kids take the blame for so much already: my lack of a waistline, the messy house, the fact that I haven't showered yet today and almost all my clothes have some kind of food product stuck to them...well add to that Mom's memory vacation.

The funny thing is, I can remember just about any of THEIR information...I can tell you what David's favorite food is today and why it isn't apples (like it was yesterday), all the words to Hannah's latest favorite song, when Hannah cut her first tooth, how long it took for David to sleep through the night. Anything pertaining to their lives is burned on my brain...its my own information that leaves me lost. If you ask for my address, birthday or how to spell my name, you are likely to get the same blank stare and confused look as if you just asked me to tell you the square root of 9034857. If you gave me enough time, and some paper, a pencil, a calculator and the ability to phone a friend, I could probably tell you the answer to both, but shouldn't the first part be a given?

I've decided to embrace this wonderful little side effect of motherhood and instead of chalking it up to yet another area I fall short in, I'm going to look at this way...I keep the most vital info at the front of my brain for quick usage, you never know when someone may ask if David would like an apple or how the third line to to the latest Demi Lovato song goes...That is information I NEED to have at the ready...and if someone can't figure out how to spell my name...they probably aren't someone I need to be wasting time talking to anyway.

Never a dull moment

Its been a loooong day. The contractions I've been having all along sent me to triage today. I'm used to having a lot of them (even with the nifedipine), but they usually calm down is I park myself for a little while. Today I had 11 in an hour and they didn't change at all when I layed down.

Right away I was put on the monitor and given a shot of terb, which, by the way, is one of the worst medications I have ever had the misfortune of taking. The first dose did absolutely nothing to my contractions and only succeeded in making me feel very sick. I did have some cervical changes when the nurse checked me so it started looking like it wouldn't just be a quick trip and back home.

After an hour with no change to the amount of contractions the nurse gave me a second shot and the dr ordered a fetal fibronectin test. That came back negative and the contractions finally started to level off. After another hour they were almost completely gone...the dr poked his head in and said as long as things stayed calm, I could go home. Yay!!!

So, now we are home and Ben is grounded to his room and can't come out for 6 weeks.

Just for funsies...here is a pic of the little stinker at 32 weeks.

How much do toes weigh?

So, I've had a little time on my hands today and started thinking about my plan to lose the post-baby-pudge. I ran through the normal "eat healthy, excercise" thoughts, then jumped to my favorite solution - the quick fix. My thoughts quickly ran away with me (as they often do) and I decided what I wanted my magic number to be...every girl knows her "number" and its almost always less than what our bodies were meant to be at. Then I started the higher level math problems to try and figure out when I can "realistically" expect to reach my number.

15lbs (from baby and fluid) can be wiped away immediately
I plan on bf'ing so there extra calories burned, but it also means I'll probably be taking in more calories (hmmmm...gotta find a way around that)
1-2 lbs a week

So, if x=lbs gained my formula is... (x-15) /2 = weeks required to make it to my number. After getting disappointed with how long that could potentially take I began to wonder why that number is what I'm focusing on? We aren't required to wear our weight posted on our chests (Thank God) and other than at the dr office, I'm never asked by random strangers how much I weigh. Why do I care so much more about making it to a certain weight than my overall appearance or health? Other people will certainly notice my muffin top, painted on pants and inability to breathe in my clothes. Try as I might to not focus on what I want to weigh or how much I want to lose, its what I always come back to.

Which takes me back to my earlier thought process of the quick fix...Soooo, just out of curiosity, how much do you think toes weigh? 12 lbs each? I could stand to lose a few toes (or maybe another appendage) if it gets me to my goals faster.

SICK, SICK, SICK

Sometimes inhibitions are GOOD!

I always love to see how free children are in everything they do. They don't care who is watching or how silly they may look...if the urge to spin around in circles until they get dizzy and fall down hits, they just start spinning.

I love love love that Hannah will sing at the top of her lungs in the shower, even if she only knows one line to a song...she'll just keep on repeating it or make up her own words. I love that David will put his toes in his mouth just to see if they taste good. Neither of them do these things thinking "but what will people think of me?".

While talking about this with someone, they said "don't you wish we could all feel that free to do whatever we wanted?" And I agreed...until I was changing David and he became obsessed with his pee-pee and kept trying to contort himself to get a better look.

I love and adore my husband, but if I ever walked through the door and found him nude and spread eagle on the living room floor trying to get a look at the goods, I think I'd close the door, get back in my car and keep on driving.