Family pictures

'Tis the season of family photo Christmas cards. I love them! I love getting them. I love sending them. For quite a few people, these annual cards are how they get to see our family grow and change.

This week, we recieved a card from some of our close friends. It has a beautiful picture of them on it. Gorgeous family, great setting...absolutely perfect. But, I have to admit, it made me more than a little jealous. They are wearing white...sitting in the grass...barefoot...everybody is looking the same direction...everybody is clean...everybody is smiling. That picture would NEVER happen with my little brood. I believe my kids are also quite beautiful, but if that were us ~Hannah would very likely be rolling her eyes at one of us, David would undoubtedly be covered in something brown (mud, chocolate, colored skittle drippings - take your pick), Ben would be crying and Dave and I would be looking in every direction but the cameras to try and corral the kids....but that is who we are and rather than try and fight it kicking and screaming, I've decided to give in and accept that nobody will EVER get to see us sitting beautifully under a tree, wearing white...it just ain't gonna happen.

BUT, what we lack in put-togetherness we make up for in adorableness...here are a few of my favorite family pics through the years...

This is from the days when my family was just me and Hannah. Obviously not a professional pic, but still one of my faves.

And then there were 3. This was the Christmas before our wedding....Look at that! We DO have a pic of us in the grass AND I'm wearing white! Maybe there is hope for us.

Hey! More white! But I do remember that within 30 minutes of this picture, David had ketchup on that shirt.
And here we are this year. Look at how much everybody has changed! That is why I love annual family pics...I think our pictures represent us well!

Ummm....

Well, it seems that going to nursing school full-time, having a husband, a 10 year old, a 2 year old and a newborn is a little more time consuming than I first thought. I knew I was going to be busy, but I had no idea HOW busy I was going to be. It started off so easy. Ben was sleeping through the night (ALL the way through the night) at 3 weeks, Dave took 8 weeks of baby leave, Hannah was back in school and David was so in love with Ben. Then at the 2 month mark, something changed. Ben decided he was missing too much by sleeping all night and thought waking up every hour just to check on things was a great idea, Dave went back to work, Hannah joined Chorus, Soccer, Student Council and an academic group and David realized that Ben was sticking around and wasn't quite so in love anymore.

But, WE made it through Block 1 with an A!!!! I say "we" because it was definately a group effort. Dave rearranged his work schedule, mom and dad spent 10 days here to help during my clinicals and nana and Julie put in more hours than I can count. We ALL earned that A.

So now I find myself with a little more "free" time. Lets see how long that lasts.

New addition

Well, he's finally here! It felt like I was pregnant for 3 years, but 2 weeks ago we welcomed Benjamin Alexander to our family. I really feel like our family is complete...we aren't waiting for anybody else to join us. The silliest thing I'm looking forward to is getting matching stockings with all our names on them! Can't wait!!!

Here's how it all went down....

~ We were scheduled to go in at 5am Wednesday (7/29) morning. I was supposed to call at 4am to make sure they still had room. I was up at 2 to pee and couldn't fall back asleep. It seriously felt like Christmas morning, waiting for Santa to come. They said to come in, so I woke up Dave, he called his mom to say it was a go, so she could head over to be with David.

0510 - Dave's family arrived at the house. We get to the hospital and had to wait to check in because they just had a bunch of people come into triage and weren't sure if they still had room for me.

0545 - They decided they could keep me and sent me to my L&D room. I got changed and IV started. We knew it was going to be a while before the actual induction started because I needed antibiotics first, and they wanted to get at least 2 doses in in case I went really quickly. When they checked me I was at 4 cm.

0730 - The dr came in and said she thought I was going to have the baby before noon, which was great because she had a meeting that she didn't want to go to. We laughed at her because with David, they started at 1 am and he wasn't born until 950 pm. We expected it to be a looong day.

0900 - The family arrived at the hospital to wait with us. Hannah's dad dropped her off so she could be a part of it and IL's came up with David to hang out. The dr came back and started pitocin. She also had ordered my epidural as soon as I wanted it. I wasn't feeling ANY contractions (so funny after the months of having them non-stop) and was still around 4cm.

1000 - No progress. I started feeling a few of the contractions, but nothing major. She said she would be back at 1130 to break my water.

~ I don't remember exactly when I got my epidural, but it was sometime between 10 and 11. I was feeling quite a few contractions, but not having any progress and they were about to turn my dose up quite a bit.

1130 - broke my water, still no progress so they brought out the peanut (mr. peanut shaped yoga ball) and layed me on my side with the peanut between my knees.

1130 - 115 pm - nothing exciting. My brother joined the party. We were just hanging out in the room and every 20-30 minutes the dr and nurse would come in and help me lay on my other side.

1:30pm - The dr came in to help move me to my other side and said after they moved me she was going to do an internal monitor because I still wasn't progressing but my contractions were pretty big and close on the monitor. She asked my family to just step out into the hall while they moved me. As I was flipping, I said I was finally starting to feel a little pressure, not a ton though. The dr checked me, yanked the peanut away, went to the door and told my family they had to go to the real waiting room because we were having a baby. They broke down the bed, pulled the warmer over and had to yell down the hall to get the nursery nurse to the room quickly. I had gone from about 4.5 cm to 10 REALLY QUICKLY.

1:50 pm - Dr asked if I was ready to push. It all happened so fast, Dave and I were just staring at each other trying to keep up with all the prep that was going on around us. I said I was ready and started to push...I thought I was halfway done with my first push when she said I needed to stop or he would be here in one push and that was too fast...especially if he ended up being a big boy. I took a breath, one more push and his head was out, then she told me to reach down, push again and deliver my baby. It was so damn fast, I don't think I even had time to process what was happening and he was on my chest.

~After he was delivered, the dr was delivering the placenta and as soon as it was out she said "you are officially no longer pregnant" and Dave and I both said "THANK GOD" at the exact same time.

Ben was born at 1357, weighed 8lbs 1 oz and 20.5 inches long. Our family is COMPLETE!!!

Bubbles and hormones

Toddlers and pre-teens have much more in common than you would think. Neither of them seem to have complete control over themselves and their emotions.

First-the toddler. I can't imagine how exciting the world must seem when EVERYTHING is brand new and even if it isn't, your memory is so short it seems that way. Your every happiness rests on whether or not you get a cookie today or if the batteries in Elmo are still "broken" (or removed to keep mommy from having to hear "uh-oh, Elmo fell down" 329847 times today). We recently got David a bubble machine that generates "thousands of bubbles in minutes" and boy does it live up to that! The greatest moment of his ENTIRE life is when he sees that machine come out. I can't read his mind, but I'm pretty sure it goes like this...

There it is!

She's getting it out!

This is going to be so much fun!

I'm the luckiest guy on earth right now!

This is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me!

I can die a happy man, now that I've seen the bubble machine!

And then, things get even better when it is turned on...

Oh My God, she's TURNING IT ON!!!

THIS is the greatest moment of my life.

I thought things couldn't get any better, but THEY DID!!!

I've never been so happy!!!

I can't control myself...I MUST scream like some kind of deranged hyena and dance around in a circle until I fall down!!!

I can't handle this much joy at once!!!!

Then the bubbles get turned off...

WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!!!!

Why did they stop?

How can she do this to me?

My heart is broken and I think I might perish right here and now.

What's the point in living?

I'm going to pack my things and leave this hell hole!

You would think that after we've done this a few times the highs and lows of a bubble machine wouldn't be so great. He would start to realize that when the machine comes out, it will be fun, we'll all have a laugh, then it will go away, only to return at another time. Kind of a "We've had some good times, I'll miss you dear friend, but we will meet again soon" feeling. But no, his entire happiness rests in this moment and it is either the most wonderful time of his life or he is in the pit of despair and life will never be good again.

Now - the pre-teen. I never would have guessed there could be a demographic that has more hormone swings than a pregnant woman, but Hannah has proven me wrong. Just like David, her happiness is decided moment to moment. The only difference is that her triggers are all internal. It really could be the greatest time of her life and she can be doing something she has always wanted to do or something that has always made her very happy and things can take a very unexpected turn into a dismal abyss.

Yesterday, she was sitting on the couch eating grapes, watching tv. We are all quietly enjoying our selves and our time together as a family, when BAM!!!! there are tears pouring out of Hannah's eyes. We are obviously shocked and concerned over what may have just happened to cause this awful breakdown. Did a bone spontaneusly snap in half? Did someone just silently rip all her fingernails out? Did she just learn she has minutes to live? Surely SOMETHING has happened to this poor child!

Nope, she doesn't know why she's crying and that makes her cry harder. As a woman, I recognize the feelings and can sympathize...as a mother it breaks my heart to see her so distressed. The outburst only lasts a few minutes and soon we are all happily playing board games, with (almost) no memory that 10 minutes ago the sky was falling and the outlook was bleak.

The person who I really feel for in these situations is Dave. He wakes up every morning not knowing which Jekyl/Hyde characters he's going to get today and praying that at some point, at least for a few minutes the three crazies in his life (the short, stinky one; the taller female one, or the biggest, pregnant one) will magically have their good moments fall at the same time and he might actually get to enjoy part of his day.

No wonder he golfs...its a guaranteed 6 hours away from this insanity.

PS~Yes, I am STILL pregnant, but a warning to those who know me. From this point on if you ask "why haven't you had the baby yet?", as if I have ANY control over this, you will be removed from the call list and you'll find out we had this kid when you get his college graduation announcement.

Momnesia

I like to think I'm a fairly smart person...at least most of the time I seem to have a decent amount of common sense. It seems that lately though the smallest questions or problems leave me stumped. I started to blame this on my advancing age ( I am almost 32 now!), but I have found a new scapegoat...the kids! These poor kids take the blame for so much already: my lack of a waistline, the messy house, the fact that I haven't showered yet today and almost all my clothes have some kind of food product stuck to them...well add to that Mom's memory vacation.

The funny thing is, I can remember just about any of THEIR information...I can tell you what David's favorite food is today and why it isn't apples (like it was yesterday), all the words to Hannah's latest favorite song, when Hannah cut her first tooth, how long it took for David to sleep through the night. Anything pertaining to their lives is burned on my brain...its my own information that leaves me lost. If you ask for my address, birthday or how to spell my name, you are likely to get the same blank stare and confused look as if you just asked me to tell you the square root of 9034857. If you gave me enough time, and some paper, a pencil, a calculator and the ability to phone a friend, I could probably tell you the answer to both, but shouldn't the first part be a given?

I've decided to embrace this wonderful little side effect of motherhood and instead of chalking it up to yet another area I fall short in, I'm going to look at this way...I keep the most vital info at the front of my brain for quick usage, you never know when someone may ask if David would like an apple or how the third line to to the latest Demi Lovato song goes...That is information I NEED to have at the ready...and if someone can't figure out how to spell my name...they probably aren't someone I need to be wasting time talking to anyway.

Never a dull moment

Its been a loooong day. The contractions I've been having all along sent me to triage today. I'm used to having a lot of them (even with the nifedipine), but they usually calm down is I park myself for a little while. Today I had 11 in an hour and they didn't change at all when I layed down.

Right away I was put on the monitor and given a shot of terb, which, by the way, is one of the worst medications I have ever had the misfortune of taking. The first dose did absolutely nothing to my contractions and only succeeded in making me feel very sick. I did have some cervical changes when the nurse checked me so it started looking like it wouldn't just be a quick trip and back home.

After an hour with no change to the amount of contractions the nurse gave me a second shot and the dr ordered a fetal fibronectin test. That came back negative and the contractions finally started to level off. After another hour they were almost completely gone...the dr poked his head in and said as long as things stayed calm, I could go home. Yay!!!

So, now we are home and Ben is grounded to his room and can't come out for 6 weeks.

Just for funsies...here is a pic of the little stinker at 32 weeks.

How much do toes weigh?

So, I've had a little time on my hands today and started thinking about my plan to lose the post-baby-pudge. I ran through the normal "eat healthy, excercise" thoughts, then jumped to my favorite solution - the quick fix. My thoughts quickly ran away with me (as they often do) and I decided what I wanted my magic number to be...every girl knows her "number" and its almost always less than what our bodies were meant to be at. Then I started the higher level math problems to try and figure out when I can "realistically" expect to reach my number.

15lbs (from baby and fluid) can be wiped away immediately
I plan on bf'ing so there extra calories burned, but it also means I'll probably be taking in more calories (hmmmm...gotta find a way around that)
1-2 lbs a week

So, if x=lbs gained my formula is... (x-15) /2 = weeks required to make it to my number. After getting disappointed with how long that could potentially take I began to wonder why that number is what I'm focusing on? We aren't required to wear our weight posted on our chests (Thank God) and other than at the dr office, I'm never asked by random strangers how much I weigh. Why do I care so much more about making it to a certain weight than my overall appearance or health? Other people will certainly notice my muffin top, painted on pants and inability to breathe in my clothes. Try as I might to not focus on what I want to weigh or how much I want to lose, its what I always come back to.

Which takes me back to my earlier thought process of the quick fix...Soooo, just out of curiosity, how much do you think toes weigh? 12 lbs each? I could stand to lose a few toes (or maybe another appendage) if it gets me to my goals faster.

SICK, SICK, SICK

Sometimes inhibitions are GOOD!

I always love to see how free children are in everything they do. They don't care who is watching or how silly they may look...if the urge to spin around in circles until they get dizzy and fall down hits, they just start spinning.

I love love love that Hannah will sing at the top of her lungs in the shower, even if she only knows one line to a song...she'll just keep on repeating it or make up her own words. I love that David will put his toes in his mouth just to see if they taste good. Neither of them do these things thinking "but what will people think of me?".

While talking about this with someone, they said "don't you wish we could all feel that free to do whatever we wanted?" And I agreed...until I was changing David and he became obsessed with his pee-pee and kept trying to contort himself to get a better look.

I love and adore my husband, but if I ever walked through the door and found him nude and spread eagle on the living room floor trying to get a look at the goods, I think I'd close the door, get back in my car and keep on driving.

And they lived happily ever after...our love story

You won't meet the love of your life in a bar...I've heard this countless times and had always believed it to be true.

Dave and I met in a bar. I was with girlfriends celebrating a birthday and he was with his guys celebrating....Friday???

I should mention that we were both about 15 sheets to the wind.

One of my friends needed a lighter, so I volunteered to ask the group of boys if they had one. They all say no, but to ask their friend "over there on the phone". I interrupted his call to ask...he says no. I move on.

A little while later, the guy that was on the phone comes up to us with a buddy and says he now has a lighter. "Thanks, but we found one earlier". Then we make introductions...in the course of the conversation I tell him I'm 26 and have a 4 year old daughter. He says he's 27 and has a 3 year old son "Ben". We spent some time on a bench chatting about ourselves and at the end of the night we exchange numbers.

The next morning I get a call from this boy and it goes a little something like this...

D: I have a few things I need to tell you. (That's never a good thing to hear)

T: Okaaayyy, what is it?

D: First, I want to tell you I had a really great time talking to you last night and would like to see you again. (so far so good, no scary "I used to be a woman" type confessions) The other thing is that I wasn't completely honest last night. I'm not really 27.

T: What? How old are you?

D: Guess (at this point I'm not particularly interested in guessing games with the wierdo that lied about his age)

T: NO, tell me how old you are.

D: 23 (ok, not horrible...not great, but its better than if he said 19 or 52). I also don't have a son, I was just trying to find something in common with you. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know this and if you are feeling spirited some time, give me a call.


I immediately jump on the phone with my girlfriends to discuss what horrible rotten liars all men are.

Weeelllll, later that night I was feeling "spirited" and gave the liar a call back. We set up a date for Sunday night. Before I left the house, I made sure everyone knew where I was meeting him and if they hadn't heard from me by a certain time to send a search party.

Dave says he didn't know how to best prepare for the date. He knew I had a brother and if I was as tall as I am, the brother could be a pretty big guy and apparently he thought after lying to me a confrontation with my brother might be a possibility.

Anyway, it turned out to be the most fun I'd ever had on a first date (or any date for that matter)...He brought flowers, we did all the fun 'getting to know you questions', I popped edamame beans across the room. We went for a walk around some gardens after dinner and swung in a hammock and talked non-stop.

When I got back to my car and called my girlfriends to tell them all was well I also said "I really think I could fall in love with this guy, don't let me do that".

It did take a little while for him to be known as "Dave" instead of "Liar" among my friends, but it did eventually happen and 5 years later we are going to have a real Ben.

Our Village

The point of this blog is to record all of our daily craziness because I was recently told that I won't remember all the little anecdotes and I would really like to keep them somewhere and maybe share them from time to time. I thought I'd start off with a list of the players that will undoubtedly make appearances here from time to time.

They say it takes a village to raise a child...well, this is our village.

First - the children...
Hannah - My angel. Hannah is the baby that made me a mommy. She's 10 going on 17 most days. She splits her time, half a week at home with us and the other half at her dad's house. I'm so proud to be her mom and am so excited to watch the young lady she is becoming and the woman she will one day be.

David - My little stinky. He's 20 months old now and was rascally before he was even born. We were so concerned with him being born early and small and he ended up weighing in at 10lbs 2oz. His smile and laugh constantly remind me why babies are worth the 10 month science experiment, labor, delivery and countless sleepless nights.

Ben - Soon to be the newest member of our clan. Those of you who know us well, know "Ben" is the child that brought Dave and I together. He will finally be real when he joins our family in July. He is keeping me on my toes already and we can't wait to meet him.

Now, this is our village...

Dave - My safe place to land. We've been married for 3 years now and every day has been sweeter than the previous. I was lucky enough to get to know what kind of father he would be before we had any children together and he has become an even more amazing father than I expected him to be. He lets me be me and loves me in spite of all my craziness. He is my forever.
Mom and Dad - My nest. There is not a single thing I would change about the way I grew up. Anything good in me (and I think there is a fair amount of good) came from them. Mom is one of my best friends. We drive each other crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way! Dad is still my hero. If I need advice on a big decision, he is the one I go to. They have been married almost 33 years and are the example I hope to live up to in my own marriage. They know where I've been and have helped me get to where I am. If they lived closer they would be perfect.
Nana, Paparone, Julie and Jeff (aka "Ball") - They are the people responsible for my wonderful husband. I have felt welcome in their family from the moment I met them. I can't begin to list the ways they have been my support in the last couple years. They have given me the peace of mind of knowing I have back up in any situation.
Uncle C and Aunt M- Uncle C is one of my bestest buddies. He was my 'man' of honor at my wedding. We've been through a lot together...3 buttcheeks, fork stabbings, trying to lose the cat, "GET IN THE TUB!" and countless more hilarious times. Aunt M became a part of our family about 10 years ago and I'm so glad she did. She is the sister I always wanted to trade my brother for. I'm excited we are all getting to go through our life stages together.

Every family has their own special brand of crazy and we are no exception...but it's our crazy and I love it!!!